‘Michael Jackson is back’

‘Back from where?’

‘Back from the dead’


‘Yes now, back from the dead. And what kind of question is that. Who in this town doesn’t know that Michael was dead?’

‘Why’re you carrying fake rumours? The guy’s going to be 50 very soon. He even has a new album…’

‘That’s what I’m talking about. I mean the brand Michael, that’s been dead for over a decade now, is finally hugging life again’

‘Oh, I see’‘Thanks to Akon and and Kanye’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Have you heard the album?’


‘No wonder. I’ve been jamming the thing since last week, and, boy, Akon killed it on ‘wanna be startin’ something’. And you need to hear and Kanye’s remixes’

 ‘I’ve always known that Akon is a wizard. I won’t be surprised if he performs better than Michael on that song’

‘That’s exactly what the brother did’

‘Good for him’


‘Michael now. Is the idea not for them all to come together and help him find his way to the top of the charts again? The guy has been invincible for too long. It beats him why it’s so hard to make a hit again – imagine, someone that used to be a thriller. Come, I’m happy Akon and the rest boys gave thier best on Thriller 25. They’ll increase their credibility rating, but more importantly, they’ll make some money for themselves and a lot of money for Michael…’

‘Does he really need the money that much?’

‘Of course he does. MJ is broke’‘Broke?’

‘Yeah. What part of that don’t you understand? I even hear that his neverand Ranch will be sold if he doesn’t pay up a $25 million balance before March 19… Michael needs money. Lots of it.  But beyond the money, he needs reassurance too – that with a little help, he can still sell a couple of million records. That, with Akon singing away alongside him, he can still enter the download and ringtones market, and maybe, win a couple of more awards again…’

‘That’s true. I can imagine people now seeing him as the king of pop again, rather than the weirdo, paedophile, eccentric wacko many now perceive him as’

‘I beg your pardon. MJ  is no paedophile. He was never convicted’

‘Okay. Send your kids to Neverland for a few weeks next summer’

‘You’re not serious’

‘But how come I’ve not heard this Michael Jackson’s new album. Can I get it in Alaba?

‘Don’t let me swear for you on Michael’s behalf o. we’re trying to save someone from ‘pauper-hood- and you’re trying to make sure he stays there. Any Alaba guy that Pirates Thriller 25 will rot in hell’

‘So where did you get yours?’

‘I heard the songs first on Cool FM. Then I asked a friend to buy me the CD from SA. I hear it’ll soon be in Nigeria. For now, you can keep listening to it on radio, cos I wont borrow you mine’

‘Shame on you. Lemme tune in, I’m sure Dan Foster or Gbemi or Olisa will play it very soon. Maybe I can even call in to request for ‘wanna be startin’ something…’

‘If you don’t get it on Cool FM, you can try Rhythm or Unity FM’

‘Don’t listen to all those stations. It’s either Cool or nothing else’

‘Same here. Until last Saturday’


‘One of their presenters broke my heart’

‘Who? Gbemi?’‘No, certainly not. It’s some girl called Vicky’

‘Big boy! You didn’t tell me you were dating a Cool FM big girl’

‘Gerraout! It’s not what you think. I don’t even know her. But I was listening to her interview with my man 9ice. I was feeling the whole chat, thanking God for 9ice, and increasing the volume of my radio when she did it’

‘Did what?’

‘When she played Ganjaman on air. Unedited’

‘What! Ganjaman, that song that espouses marijuana, laced with vulgar and lurid lyrics?’

‘Yes. The song about that herb that remains banned. I hear a police officer was last week dismissed ‘cos he was found smoking at a weed joint. Yet, a caller requested for the song and our dear Vicky was too 9ice to tell dude she can’t play such songs on air. I’m sure she’ never heard of NTBB’

‘The girl should be fired. That’s like playing Prof. Linkin’s jogodo on radio’

Oh, that one? I’ve heard it on Cool FM too. I think the problem is they’re so out of touch with the streets, they don’t know what these guys are saying’

‘But you need to stop crucifying Cool FM and Vicky’


‘They like Ganja at Rhythm too’

‘I don’t understand’

‘Kemistry played the song too. That’s what she used to close her show on Wednesday February 27’

‘That’s unfortunate. Kemistry should know better’

‘I wonder what NBC is doing’

‘NBC? What’s that- Nigeria bottling company’

‘you’re an illiterate – that’s the National Broadcasting commission. They’re like the watchdogs of the broadcast industry’

‘oh, I see. Maybe they don’t listen to radio.’

Well, too bad. But for those of us that do, we deserve some decency- especially if we’re listening with innocent children. If I want to listen to songs about Mary J, I have loads of CDs that treat the subject well; let me listen at my own time. Okay?’

‘Are you talking to me? I don’t work with Cool FM!’


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